You deserve whatever you settle for…..

Just remember that, no one is here to help you and save you along the way to always make the right decisions and choices.. Especially when it comes to matters of your heart…You settle for less then that’s exactly what you deserve, because it’s a reflection of what you really think about yourself.. 

Stop accepting and tolerating below average commitment then complain that you don’t get the good guys… YOU DON’T WANT IT ENOUGH!!

So it’s this simple…..

Do not allow him to consume you. If he does not call, go to sleep. 

If he does not message, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. 

If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. 

If he tries to insinuate you do not need your friends now that you have him, spend more time with your friends. 

If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely. 

If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. 

If he acts like your body is his entitlement when you are not ready, walk away from him. 

If he says terrible, unforgivable things and threatens to leave you after every argument, walk away from him. 

If he forbids you from doing anything you love, walk away from him. 

If he claims ownership of your accomplishments, walk away from him. 

If he demeans you or disrespects your being a girl/woman/lady and refuses to stop when you tell him it hurts, walk away from him.

I cannot stress this enough, you live for yourself first. He is a secondary character in the story of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own story. 

You are a Queen👸🏽and deserve to be treated as such. How about you fix your crown, run your empire until a real King who knows your worth comes along, DO NOT SETTLE!!

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Decisions ⚖️

As we transit from childhood to adulthood, decision making is something we have to do on a daily basis. Some decisions are quite easy like, whether to go to the gym or eat KFC. Obviously, we all know KFC is the better choice🙄🙈😂. And other decisions are really major and their impact affects our whole lives. Key word here is ‘OUR’lives, as in YOUR life. It’s not all the time that your decision will get approval from everyone. But if you are at peace with it and it makes you happy, then go for it.

People who care about you, may advice you but will definitely respect your decision. They will not force their choice on you, regardless of the situation, just so they are happy. As I said before, anyone who wants you to live in misery for their happiness, shouldn’t be in your life to start with….. 

No, I don’t have the time ⌚️ 

As a young lady living in the 21st century, I’ve had moments where I wished for a few more hours to my day. I’m sure a lot of people can relate… I can’t be the only weird one😂😂

There are quite a number of things I know I should do
but…….
“No, I just don’t have time.”
That’s a standard response I have given more times than I care to recount…

“I wish I could make time to exercise every day but there just aren’t enough hours in the day.”

“I’d love to make a homemade dinner but I just can’t find the time.”

” I want to communicate and be there for my friends more but I just don’t have the time”

There are days when the day just seems too short, the 24 hours are somehow not enough to accomplish whatever it is I’d have planned. I mean I have assignments , work deadlines and a social life to juggle, not forgetting my involvement in the local church, my plate is pretty full.

But here’s a little known fact…we all have the same number of hours in a day.  We each are granted 24 hours to do with as we please.  And sure, we don’t always control what happens in those hours (an unforeseen emergency, a deadline at work pushed up etc).

But, in general, we do get to determine how and where we spend those hours.

I’ve long admitted we make time for what we find is important.  So while I will incorporate 2 hours a day to exercise, I somehow can’t find time to iron one item of clothing for 10 minutes max. This isn’t true though, I could have time, I just chose not to. I don’t find ironing to be important (I mean, I will just sit, get myself squashed on the train, so before I even reach my destination I’m a wrinkled mess anyway…so what’s the point🤔).

But I believe there are things in my life…and yours too I’m betting…that we do actually find important yet we feel so “busy” we chalk it up to not having enough time.

Excuses, excuses..

As people we obviously like making excuses, and the biggest excuse of the 21st century is not having enough time.

For example, if we spent as much time on chasing our goals as we spend on social media, we would be a long way closer to our goals.

Just a personal check, how many minutes/hours in a day do you spend scrolling purposelessly on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,Snapchat, you name it. More than you should hey??

So we actually do have time, enough to do whatever it is we think matters in our lives.
So even in relationships, my fellow ladies……

If he is always ‘busy’ to make time for you, I’d start thinking of where I really stand in his life. If you are any important to him, he would make time for you, the same way he makes time to update his Facebook or call his ‘cousin’ and friends. Love does create time after all.

And generally in life, people make time for who they want to make time for. People text, call and reply to people they want to talk to. Never believe anyone who says they are too busy. If they wanted to be around you, they would!!

Time has a way of showing us what really matters in our lives and also how we matter in other people’s lives.

Tiptoe if you must, but, take that step!

Change is the only constant in life~ Heraclitus

Most of us when we think of change, we imagine an enormous and tedious process. When we look at what we have to change in our lives and what we have to do  to get where we want to be, we often shoot ourselves in the foot from the start by focusing on the whole process rather than the first step. Focusing on the fear, doubt and uncertainty during the process of change usually just overwhelms us and holds us back from even starting. One thing that’s important to note is that, your life won’t get better by chance, it gets better by change. Whatever it is you want to change in your life, a little step towards the goal and a little motivation is all it takes.

You want to lose weight… start now! Change your mindset on food in general and your health.Substitute those fries with a something less fatty, jog for 30 mins or register with a gym. 

You want financial freedom…. before you make that order online THINK, do you really need to buy that? Don’t spend money that you don’t have; get out of debt. Start saving; Even if it’s a dollar a day, it means you are a dollar richer than you were yesterday.

You want to start a business/you have a creative idea…. educate yourself on how to go about it, invest in books on that area you want to venture into. Get a mentor; connect to people who are already where you want to be and learn from them.

You want to develop or deepen your relationship with God… read the Word even if it’s one verse a day, meditate on it and put aside a few minutes of your day to pray.

You want to build a romantic relationship or just a friendship… then make time for that person or people you want a relationship with. Make a phone call, send a text or initiate a meet up, that will make a difference.

You want to get out of a toxic relationship…. boo, walk away. Don’t keep going back because you think you want closure. If you are an option to them and not a priority; if you constantly have to fight for their attention and they disrespect or treat you less than you deserve; that’s closure enough. Stop stalking them on social media, and if they don’t get that you want out, try the block button on your phone, it functions perfectly well. 

The goal then, is to do ONE THING, everyday.

And even if it seems insignificant on its own, when you do it every day, change will occur.

So every day that you work toward your goal, whether you have made tangible progress or not, you have gained experience.

And over time, it is your experience that is compounding, growing, and will undoubtedly lead to your success 🏆 

You are your Number 1 Priority!

So, growing up one of the first things I was taught was to be selfless. I was taught to share, share and share. I also learnt to always put other people and their needs first before my own. Of course there is nothing wrong with this.
However……

Overtime I realized I’d forget to also put my happiness into the equation. This happened when I’d overexert myself and when I was scared of saying NO to people. 

Even in relationships, I’ve noticed people place their partner’s priorities over their own happiness. This can cause a person to remain in a relationship with a partner even if it is harmful, abusive, or destructive to them. People often lose their own sense of self, their own boundaries, and ability to leave a toxic situation. 

When someone else is more important than you are, how will you leave if the relationship becomes unhealthy or damaging to you? How will you even know it’s unhealthy?

Im not encouraging people to be unreasonably selfish but what I’m saying is TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST! If you dont and you just give everything you have to everyone else, you end up getting a burn out and feeling like crap about yourself. 

Remember, YOU are your number one Priority 😀